I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

-George Matheson

changes lives.

I love my dorm.

It smells new, in a bad way.

My roommate is from an island in the South Pacific.

I love my classes.

I’m not at the football game like everyone else, because I couldn’t get a ticket.

Where are all the music people hiding?

I’ve met lots of awesome people, but

I need friends.

I need to catch up on reading.

It’s so easy to live a good life here;

I haven’t heard a single swear word since I’ve arrived,

nor seen anyone dressed immodestly.

I wasn’t worried about the freshman fifteen,

but now the food options are becoming more threatening.

I love my ward, and I’m looking forward to church in the morning.

The temperature range in a single day here is around 40 degrees.

I love the mountains; I want to climb them very soon.

I’m getting better at guitar.

I don’t miss home, but I do miss my friends.

I miss being a big fish in a little pond.

I love being able to take notes on a laptop.

I’m excited for all the cool things I’m going to learn this semester.

I want to go a mission, but I know I’m not ready yet.

I’m proud to be a cougar; I love everything about BYU.

It’s funny and cool how many scenester Mormons there are here.

I feel very blessed by the Lord.

Life is good, and it’s getting better.

Oh, how I wish I could dance like this.

the success of an event can, in almost all circumstances, be measured by how many pictures I take. This is not a rule; in New York, I took very few pictures and still had a blast. But when I look back (at Facebook albums, for instance) my albums highlight some of my most memorable experiences. And I think my fondness of those memories is correlated more to the experience itself rather than the fact that I have images to prove it happened. For me personally, I feel like enjoyment begs to have pictures taken. Or perhaps taking pictures causes enjoyment. I’m not sure which, but I think think there’s something to be said about cameras and happiness.

It is currently day 7 of our family’s beach trip, and I’ve taken a whopping total of 50 pictures. We leave tomorrow morning, and I’m beginning to have that retrospect remorse of underusing the camera. I can’t help but wonder if my lack of inclination to photograph is any indication of the quality of this trip. Don’t get me wrong, I love the beach more than almost anything - the sunrises that lend a hopeful color to the clouds, the blissful sound of the surf filling our condo, listening to Sufjan as I watch the sun go down, all the glorious food! - and being here with my entire family plus brothers-in-law and nephew has been such a blessing. But something this whole week has been…off. Maybe it’s not having had a friend here with me to be my wingman, someone I can count on. Maybe it’s the new location (Crystal Beach, a few miles east of our usual Okaloosa Island.) Maybe it’s thinking about going to college in less than 5 days. Or maybe it’s the fact that we’ve been here for almost 8 (three days longer than usual). I think it’s mostly a combination of the latter two. It’s one thing to jump into college from summer vacation. It’s another thing to do it from 8 days of stagnant half-living, without much communication with the goings-on of home and friends (and I thrive on constant communication).

Thinking about my new life in college and all of the new adventures I’m going to have makes the beach seem a little less dazzling than usual, and having been here for so long, I’ve gotten complacent. I think I’ve discovered that about 5 days of vacation is the most I can handle before I start feeling useless - my number one fear. I realize that my choices are mine always, and if I want to feel useful, I should be able to find something that suits me. But certain environments are more conducive to an assertive lifestyle. And a laid-back, breezy condo filled with junk food doesn’t quite hit the mark. I’m ready for an adventure. I’m ready for new faces and new knowledge. And most of all, I’m ready for a chance to start over.

Beach, you’ve been wonderful, but now we must part. I’m sorry I didn’t take more pictures and spend the daylight as abundantly as you’ve offered. But now I’m on to bigger and better things. I’ve got experiences that will once again beg to be photographed, and I’m going to make memories that can’t be touched.

that everyone’s greatest fear in life is being useless. You gotta find out what you’re meant for, and then live for that purpose.

So I went to the pool the other day after some time at the gym - what would be a great morning routine if it wasn’t 4:00pm by the time I wake up and get ready to go everyday. This whole summer sleeping thing is really not working out for me. I hate waking up late, and yet I keep doing it… And me being the kind of person who needs copious amounts of sunlight to function and be happy, I’ve been a little emotionally under the weather lately (pun intended). But as I was laying out by the pool on a gorgeous sunny early evening, I had a realization. The sun doesn’t care what I was feeling, and it doesn’t care what I’ve been doing with my life, it always rises. Not for me, not for anyone, but for itself. And I was only catching the tail end of it. It had been up working all day, and I missed it. It made me think about life in general as a correlation to the sun. Life moves on. It doesn’t wait for anyone. It’s a high-speed train that’s never late and never stops. Everyone’s got a pass, but we have to make the choice to hop on, or it will pass us by without a second glance. It got me to reconsider my complaints, my self-pity, and my doubts. Am I going to sleep through the sun, or enjoy every minute of life and live it to the fullest? It’s an easy choice to make, but a hard thing to do. I attached Quiet As a Mouse by Margot & The Nuclear So and So’s because there’s a line in the chorus that says “Wake up, you’ve got a lot of things to do. Wake up, the sun is rising without you.” I thought it quite fitting.

I have costochondritis. Why am I so injury prone??? Well, at least my wisdom teeth feel a thousand times better. And I get to take steroids!

So for the past week I’ve been scouring my house, digging through cabinets, and browsing endless Picasa folders in search of pictures of my father. Not just my father in general, but specifically him with his children and or grandchild. The goal was to collect all of these and put them in a nice slide show for my dad today. Sounded simple enough before I began. What I did not know was how much of an impact this little project would have on me.

First of all, I had no idea our family owned so many pictures. I must have fingered through at least 1,000 photos ranging from 1983 to the present. Boxes upon boxes of photos, almost all of which I had never laid eyes on. It was absolutely fascinating watching the progression of our family through the years. From the moment a husband became a father, through all the daddy-daughter dates, birthdays, annual beach trips, and two spectacular weddings, my father was there every step of the way, loving and providing for his family. It made me realize just how often I take for granted how great he is. And how far too often I criticize. There are numberless people in the world who have lost their fathers, suffered broken families, or been neglected in some way by their parents. Looking through the photos I saw a father who attended every concert, every event, rode bicycles, played games, gave hugs, danced, napped, ate, tickled, read, and sang. I often found myself in tears of joy and gratitude as I reviewed the collected memories. All in all I found about 155+ photos of just the dad and kids. A mere fraction of all Wilcox photos. Poor dad is always the one taking the pictures and rarely gets featured in the records - another reason why this project was so important.

Making the slide show itself was a process. One which I will not go into. (When it comes to art projects, a minute’s worth of work means hours for my scattered, perfectionist mind.) But today, after a great Fathers Day themed church service, choir, BLT’s, and cards, the video was premiered. I knew my dad would cry, and I figured I would as well. Unfortunately, I inherited my leaky eyes from him. But it got the whole family going, and for the duration of the video, time stood still. Finally, after the last chord of “Bubbly” struck and the words “I Love You, Daddy” faded into black, eyes were dried and hugs abounded from a very happy father.

It was great being able to give back a little bit. A slide show isn’t much, but it was something that hasn’t really ever been done in our family, and the opportunity to show him how much he means to all of us was one of a kind. I realize this post is pretty mushy. But that’s how the story goes. I’m grateful for my family, and for a wonderful father who made it so perfect. Happy Fathers Day, Ronald Carl Wilcox!

jennalivsey:

Well first of all, hey, I miss you! Second, you have not gone in words with friends in 14 days! You need to get on that. Third, now do you see why tumblr is so fantastic?

Jenna!! I’m still not really sure how to work this thing so I’m reblogging and hoping I did the right thing. I miss you too! I’ve even forgotten what all rhymes with turnip! Second, I despise your WWF skillz, I simply can’t compete. But I s’pose I’ll play a word. Third, not yet, but hopefully soon!